Understanding The Ego

Understanding The Ego

At the beginning of my Self-Discovery Path, I started getting insights into the ego by listening to Eckhart Tollie’s teachings and reading spiritual books.


As I was gaining a deeper understanding of the ego and consciously observing it within me I started changing my behavior and actions. All that resulted in creating a healthier, more fulfilling & trurer life.


The Ego


Imagine someone asking you, “Who are you?”- what would you say? 


Perhaps most of us would start with our names and ages. Then we would share more about ourselves. For example, our profession, or where we live. 


Then we might talk about our character traits (mainly sharing the good ones), our hobbies and interests, and some of our experiences from the past. And we might also share if we are married, have kids, have a boyfriend, or are a sister, brother, or grandmother.


But is that really who we are? 


Do you think who you are is only defined by your name, body, age, relationships, achievements, profession, hobbies, interests, or past experiences? 


But let’s consider this a truth, and who you are is only your name, your body, and your personal history. Now, imagine this.


You woke up lying in a bed in an unknown room. You open your eyes and can not remember how you got there. There is no one around you.


You are feeling lost and confused and trying to remember how you got there. You are trying to remember anything from your past. How old you are, what is your name, your country, whether you are married, have kids, parents, or friends. But you can not remember anything about your life. 


Then the unknown guy enters the room, surprised about seeing you, and he asks you, “Who are you? What are you doing here?


What would you say? 


Perhaps you would say the truth: “I don’t remember. I have no idea how I got here, and I do not remember anything about myself and my life”.


But yet, you are there.


Who are you if you can not remember your name, life situation, past experiences, profession, and achievements?


It looks like what we call “our life,” and what we think we are, are only concepts in our minds in the form of thoughts.


But if we are not our thoughts, and we are still alive without our memories, who we are?


In essence, we are the consciousness that gives rise to our thoughts. All your memories exist only as thoughts in your mind, and you are not your thoughts – you are the one who creates them. You can choose your thoughts, right? 🙂




I am not a scientist; I’m just obsessed with great books and thinkers, spirituality, and some science, but I will put one scientific theory here so I can better convey a greater sense of who we are as human beings.


Scientists believe that the existence of the entire physical (material) Universe started 13.8 billion years ago with the Big Bang.


“The Big Bang theory says that the physical Universe spiraled out of an unimaginably hot and dense single point, billions of times smaller than the head of a pin – called a Singularity. This extremely dense point exploded with unimaginable force, creating matter and propelling it outward to make the billions of galaxies of our vast universe.”


I don’t know if what the Big Bang theory says is the truth, but I understand that there is a creative intelligence that creates all life: nature, ourselves, and the entire Universe, because there would not be life on Earth without the sun & stars, so there would not be us. So, to me, it is completely understandable that all is one existence.


Let’s believe the physics and consider that the process of all creation started 13.8 billion years and created the Universe as we “know” today, including our planet Earth, the life on our planet, and everything we can see, feel, smell, hear, and touch in this physical reality.


It means that you, I, every human being, every animal, every plant, every rock, the whole planet, the Cosmos- the entire existence resulting from the one intelligent, creative process that started 13.8 billion years ago. Isn’t that fascinating? 


In essence, you are the leading edge of this creation expressed as a human being.


That invisible intelligence that creates everything has had many different names throughout history, and even if the word God these days is very often misused, I like to call it God. 


It is formless- we can not see, touch, hear, taste, or smell it, and it creates everything that has a form- which is our physical reality. And the formless and the form are one. One can not exist without the other.


“Creator and created are one and the same. Creation is created out of the creator, just like dance comes out of the dancer.”


What created you and who you are is one. You are not only your physical body and your identity (the story you have about yourself), but you are the creative intelligence itself, which means you have the power to create & chose your identity.


The physical reality (everything that has form) is just a segment of the whole existence. Being a human is just a segment of who you are, and your ego is such a limited segment of you being a human. 


What is Ego?


The outer world is the physical world of the five senses and it is focused on the body, environment, and time. The inner world represents the world of our thoughts (imagination) and feelings.


A child develops the ego- the sense of separated self through interaction with the outer world by experiencing life, and by the age of three, we all develop the ego.


Being unaware of the power of our inner world and seeing the external world as the only reality makes us perceive other people, nature, things, and situations as separated from us. Here is me, and there is you.


We see people, things, and situations as mine or not mine.


Everything we perceive as mine, we identify ourselves with and it becomes a part of our ego identity.


The ego is the story- concepts (thought forms) in our minds we have about ourselves and who we think we are. And that story is based on all our past experiences- achievements, failures, memories, mistakes, and so on. 


Our emotions attached to that story make us blind to see a more outstanding picture of our existence, and it limits us from changing our reality in a way that will fulfill our hearts and souls on a deeper level.

But if we make some effort to understand the ego & start to recognize the ego in ourselves by consciously observing it, we can slowly break the limitations we are putting out ourselves that are conditioned by our past & start creating a new identity.


And by creating a new identity, we are creating a new life.


“True behavior change is identity change.” – James Clear


How to recognize our egoic thoughts?


The ego is the one who cares only about me, I, my, and mine.

The ego only cares about its own needs, without considering the needs of others. 


The ego is the one that makes us project our points of view on others and makes us give away our peace and well-being to protect our opinion.


The ego has a need to always be right. 


The ego likes to complain about other people & circumstances.


The ego compers itself to others and considers itself more or less worthy than others.


The ego tries to control how others perceive us. 


The ego keeps us away from our inner wisdom and peace of mind. 


The ego keeps us away from love, compassion, and understanding for others.


The ego keeps us away from seeing the greater truth of who we are.


The ego is a normal part of being a human being, and there is nothing wrong with having an ego. We all have it.


The difference is when we admit to ourselves we have it, we can then start observing and changing our egoic thoughts, behavior, and actions, and start creating greater inner peace, and higher energy states- bringing more creativity, authenticity, joy, and more profound & loving experiences in our daily lives.


With love,